Let me tell you a little more about me…

my story

I created Stand Outtish Demeanor because I wanted women to know who they were in Christ. I could see in my own life how not knowing who I was in Christ impacted almost every area in my life.

I struggled with my identity for most of my adolescent and young adult life. Experiencing rejection and abuse as a child had me lost and confused about who I was in this world I was for many years..

Because I had no idea who I was I often settled for defining myself according to the opinions of those who were close to me and whom I assumed knew me well enough to tell me who I was.

As I grew older,
I started to define myself according to what my peers and friends thought about me. Also, at that time music videos were very popular. They gave me impressions of how to act or look to gain a favorable opinion from others.

In other words, I received most of my cues about my value and self-worth from how people related to me; How they treated me, how they spoke to me, etc. I became a person who was very good at studying a person’s behavior to determine their opinion of me.

I would study how they interacted with me through reading their body language and their facial expressions to try to determine whether they favored or disapproved of who I was. Some people were direct in their dislike of me, some not some much.

But if I didn’t think someone liked me for whatever reason, then I felt I needed to change whatever it was. And at times when others didn’t take to me and I didn’t know why, I would guess what the reason could be for their dislike based on things I didn’t like about myself which were based the previous rejection of others or cultural standards that I didn’t measure up to.

As you can imagine, measuring myself according to the opinions of others really didn’t make me feel all that secure in who I was as a person. For one, there are numerous people in my sphere of influence and it was hard trying to be who every one of those people thought I should be. Secondly, I realized that trying to be who they wanted me to be caused an internal battle within myself because I was out of alignment with who I really was on the inside.

I agreed to things, I really didn’t agree with. Said yes to things I really want to say no to. And every time I did these things I grew farther from being who I was. Who God created me to be.

I became a Christian at approximately the age of 15 or 16. I started to get serious about my relationship with God from that point on. I read my Bible a lot and spent as much time as I could alone with God.

But it wasn’t until my early late 20’s to early 30’s that I began to realize how much the lifestyle I currently lived conflicted with how the Bible said I should live as a Christian.

I realized through studying the Bible and prayer that God had something better in store for my life and that I was living as a lesser version of who He created me to be by trying to measure up to who cultural trends and the opinions of others. I couldn’t live a life trying to please Him and others at that same time.

I realized that God created me to be different and He was calling me upward toward that difference. God showed me that I had a brand spanking new identity in Christ as a child of God that my purpose in life was to bring glory to God in all that I do.

And as Christ’s ambassador, how I chose to show up in the world and every decision that I made concerning my life was a reflection of my faith in God. Whether good or bad, how I chose to show up in the world as a professed Christian woman, could cause others to deny Christ or embrace Him.

Embracing my God-given Identity put my life on that trajectory to becoming all that God called, destined, and created me to be! It changed my life forever by changing how I saw God, myself, and how I related with others. And that’s what I hope it will do for you!

XOXO – Quintoria